Boosting Self Esteem Guide
you want
* Behaving in a manner that has others frightened to step up to you
* Using your wealth to get others to do what you want
* Using racial or sexual slurs towards others
There are many steps you can take to stop allowing others to intimidate you, the first step you should take is to look at yourself and determine if your irrational, unhealthy way of thinking has allowed yourself to become intimidated by others. If you think this might have been the case then you should take steps towards
* Identify new healthier ways of thinking to help you overcome and respond to the intimidating factors
* Display your new ways of thinking and acting to those who are intimidating you, this will show them that you are no longer willing to be intimidated by them
* Develop ways of dealing with people in case they respond negatively to the new you
* See the consequences of your new assertive behavior
* Stick to your guns and accept whatever the consequences are of your new behavior
The next step to take once you have developed a strategy for dealing with those who intimidate you is to develop ways to reinforce your beliefs in the new you. The easiest way is to use daily affirmations or positive self-talk. Examples of positive self-talk include.
* I am a good person, who is worthy and deserves to be treat with respect
* I will not put anyone in a superhuman position over me
* I will take my life back under my control from any who tries to intimidate me in the future
* I will not allow others to intimidate me
* There is no one out there who can intimidate me
Overcoming the need to be in control
Some of us have problems when it comes to being in control, we simply have the urge to control all aspects of life for those around us and this can lead to many problems. There are many negative effects that come with the compulsive need to fix everyone's problems and they can have a severe effect on your life in general. So what is the need to be in control or to fix? In addition, what are the negative effects? And how can you help yourself to give up the need to be in control?
You could be said to have issues of needing to be in control if any of the following apply to you or someone you know.
* You compulsively go to someone's rescue, regardless of whether they ask for your help or not, just because you believe it is the way the task or situation should be dealt with.
* The feeling that other people are in need becomes an automatic response to you.
* You strongly believe that things have to be perfect or just right for people; otherwise, they cannot possibly be happy in life.
* You feel you have to change people because you cannot accept them as they are
* You strongly believe that you know what is best for others and try your best to make them see things your way.
* You accept personal responsibility for the actions of others.
* You cannot help but give advice to others or offer your help to them.
* People see you as interfering in their lives.
* You have a strong need to feel wanted or needed which leads to you becoming overly involved in the business of others.
* Things don't feel right if you are not helping others or fixing their problems.
* The most common negative effects that compulsive behaviour such as this can have on a person includes
* You develop relationships where people become overly dependant on you
* You cannot remain emotionally uninvolved if you come across someone you see as needing your help.
* You lose friendships due to you needing to be in control over their lives.
* You begin to neglect your own needs in favour of dealing with others around you.
* You are ridden with guilt if things don't improve for a person.
* You might become angry with those you have helped if they don't show enough recognition for what you have done.
* You develop low self-esteem through losing yourself with others.
* Ways which you can develop to overcome the need to be in control are
* Have the belief that others have the ability to fix their own problems.
* Set up a boundary between those you think need your help.
* Don't get hooked on needing recognition from others.
* Accept that the only person you should control is yourself.
* Tell people to confront you if you try to give them unwanted help or advice.
* Realize that people have the ability to change themselves if they should want to.
* Only offer help to those who clearly ask for it.
Overcoming Trauma
There are many thoughts and feelings associated with a traumatic experience, trauma occurs when we are faced with any terrible situation, such as a car accident, fire, witness to an accident, natural disaster, an attack on your person, war, e.t.c. Many people who are recovering from a traumatic experience mentally block out the experience that caused distress while others will relive it time and time again. Trauma can bring many feelings such as
* Shock - shock is a normal reaction to any traumatic experience and the closer you were to the experience the more shock sets in. Your brain has to process the terrible images you have seen and this is when the feelings of shock set in and will take time to digest.
* Disbelief - many people experiencing a shocking situation have strong belief that what they have witnessed cannot possibly have happened.
* Denial - many people deny that the event happened; they try to force it out of their mind.
* Emotional pain - even if you haven't been hurt
